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intrusivethot) wrote2018-08-23 08:47 pm
intrusivethot) wrote2018-08-23 08:47 pm
intrusivethot) wrote2018-08-23 08:47 pm
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[ Every once in a while Ren manages to remind himself why he keeps his mouth shut most of the time. Today
is one of those days.
Because he may have just also spent most of the last year with the same tight knit group of people and nearly died with them a number of times, but it visibly seems to occur to Ren that he's gone into Leader Mode and tried to solve a near stranger's problems without having the details. Broad strokes he can help with, but presuming a certain amount of information is a recipe for disaster. ]
Hey - I guess it's obvious I really want to help but clearly I don't know what I'm talking about?
[ How the city alone works is a mystery to him - how people arrive, why they disappear, how frequently that happens. Why she'd believe that what she had to say would ruin things. He's assuming it's romantic in nature because that's the vibe he's picking up, but what's he missing?
The soft click behind him announces the end of the boiling cycle, prompting Ren to turn and pick up the kettle and begin the slow pour over the grounds. ]
I'm probably not getting what it is that's not the "I like you" card, so my bad. I should clearly have shut up and made the damn coffee, right?
[ Call him a doofus and release him from this hellish plane of his own making pls. ]
no subject
[She can't really make that kind of judgement without knowing more about the situation, and all she has to go on is what he's told her. But it does seem like the kind of thing that would just compound on itself.
It's probably the abrupt change of tone that stands out the most to her. His advice, while not necessarily something she'd been after initially, made a lot of sense. If nothing else, it's obvious that he's used to being a person that others could go to when they're in need of some degree of help.]
I appreciate it.
[Even if he doesn't know the full story. There's the option of filling him in, but that would take a fair amount of time and she's not entirely sure she feels up to getting into it right now.
The kettle's intervention is almost comically convenient, but she can't feel too badly about it.]
It's... complicated. And if I'd wanted you to shut up, I would've told you to.
no subject
Usually if someone offers unsolicited advice there'd be more pushback, and his sheepishness is blunted with curiosity at why Pidge isn't doing exactly that. Telling him to shut up, that is - no one likes a talkative barista, and now Ren is caught between his powerful instinct to help and his powerful idiocy. What's it like being a normal person, he wonders. ]
...Thanks. [ Blink. ] I guess in my experience "complicated" usually means something's liable to be regretted at some point. And I'd hate for that to happen to you.
[ Can he offer you a freshly poured cup of black coffee in this trying time? ]
no subject
Normally, she'd be a little more inclined to tell him where he could shove that advice. But she's feeling uncharacteristically charitable today... and she doesn't really have anyone else here she can talk to about this kind of thing, so she's trying to be a little careful. Which honestly isn't as difficult as she might've thought it would be since he apparently gives really solid advice.]
In this case, "complicated" means... I've been friends with someone for a while, and I kind of wish I didn't like him as much as I did, because the odds of him feeling the same way are probably close to zero. And I don't want to screw up an almost perfect friendship.
[That's certainly... some type of logic.]
no subject
Oof.
[ There's a minor shudder that runs through Ren, more a sympathetic vibration than not for reasons Pidge will soon know. This part he doesn't mind digging up. Misery loves company, right? At the very least he can give her reason not to think he's asking for no reason. He does dawdle briefly, scratching the back of his neck for the length of a soft exhale. ]
That's rough. And I get it? As in, the same thing snuck up on me and it's amazing and kinda sucks an incredible amount of ass simultaneously.
[ Filtering done, Ren expertly pours each of them a cup and slides Pidge's over in solidarity. He feels less awkward now that he isn't making stabs in the dark anymore, though what Pidge does or doesn't take away from his side of things is up to her. ]
Like, when I think back on it the worst part is not knowing. You start gettin' all paranoid and miserable, you know? I did, anyway. And from what I learned, if your friendship really is almost perfect then it's strong enough to survive telling them how you feel, even if they don't return your feelings.
[ He doesn't much look like the type that'd get turned down but it happens. Sometimes the world is ending on a more literal level and it puts a rejection into perspective, heh. ]
no subject
[Maybe she'll wait a bit on digging for more. If the situation was reversed, she probably wouldn't someone she'd practically just met trying to drag up past trauma. Then again, here she is voluntarily sharing something just as personal...
She's still debating when he speaks up again, so instead, she just goes quiet to wait.] It sucks that you get it. I'm sorry. But yea, that's a pretty amazing way of putting it.
[The approaching cup makes her smile, and Pidge reaches out to take it while she waits for him to continue. She's tempted to ask about that too, but she's also trying not to bug him with too many questions.]
I can't decide if not knowing is worse than knowing would be. [There's no way Hunk would want her when he could be with literally anyone else, right? And yet she's not entirely convinced that's true. Either way, she's starting to get tired of keeping it to herself.]
I don't know. I just don't want him to think of me differently if he doesn't feel the same. It's dumb, right?
no subject
Nah, don't worry about it. I know I'm amazing and so are my insights.[ /fingerguns
Joking aside, Ren isn't ignorant of the delicacy of the subject, just possibly his biases might do more harm than good if he laid it all out there. He worries. Worry is more often motivating for him than paralyzing, and he forgets that other people don't have his reckless bravery when he makes wild suggestions about pouring your heart out to your best friend, just because it turned out neutral-to-okay for him.
He doesn't know Pidge's friendships. Maybe over the long run he could make that bigger ask, but for now it's coffee and a bit of therapist couch, leaning forward onto his forearms. ]
Maybe a little dumb. A little. There's always a risk that something doesn't come out how you want it to, but I still think you can trust him with it.
I guess I'd ask what would be so bad about looking at you differently in that case? I don't think a close friend would try to distance themselves from you or throw it back in your face.
[ It's a world of difference between Ren standing before her and declaring his undying love and Pidge telling Hunk she has more-than-friends feelings for him. There's one guy to be a lot less certain of and the other to have every confidence that he'd treat her with the respect and love they'd built as friends over time. ]